Erin's Way Read online

  Erin finished the dishes, pushed the paper into a pile on the table, and stomped along the hall to Sam’s bathroom. After stripping off her clothes, she stepped into the shower and let the water run over her and relax her. She dried off and looked at her clothes with a sigh. Sam wouldn’t be back for a couple of hours. She could sneak in a nap. She still hadn’t caught up on her sleep. And last night, she’d tossed and turned most of the night worried she would oversleep and be late.

  She pulled a shirt from his closet, buttoned it, rolled back the sleeves that hung well past her hands and grinned at the shirttails that hit her just above the knee. Damn! He was huge. Why did it seem that every male she encountered was a giant? Her father and Evan were both almost six and a half feet. Joseph looked like he was about six-two, and Sam? He must be about six-four, but where Stoner and Evan were tall and lean, Sam was big. She knew he’d played football. She remembered Evan talking about it with awe when she was just a little girl. Of course, she also remembered there had been some injury that ended any hope of a professional career. He’d gone into the army or something.

  Erin curled up in the king-sized bed in his room, feeling like a rowboat in the middle of the ocean, and snuggled under the comforter and flannel sheets. Mmm. It was just right. She was Goldilocks. It was so comfortable, and she’d still slept like crap during the night, jumping at every sound and suffering terrible nightmares. She inhaled Sam’s warm, clean man smell and let her eyes drift shut. She was safe. Sam would keep her safe.

  * * * *

  Sam pulled into the farmyard and cut the engine on the truck. Everything looked quiet enough. He had thought a lot about Erin and the comics. She sure was touchy. He wondered if she wore contacts or glasses and was too vain or had simply forgotten them. He smiled as he entered the house. Somehow, he just couldn’t picture her with owlish looking glasses perched on the end of that straight, little nose. When he didn’t see her in the kitchen or the living room, he wondered if she had gone back out to the barn or home. He decided to change clothes and see if he could find her.

  He was already down to his slacks, his chest bare, when he finally noticed the spiky, dark hair just visible over the top edge of his comforter. That lump in his bed was more than covers, he realized. Give her blond hair and he’d begin to feel like he’d stepped into “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” That would make him Papa Bear. The thought didn’t amuse him. Was she sick?

  “Erin?” He sat on the edge of the bed. “Hey, baby. You okay?”

  She scrubbed at her eyes just like a kid, and made him feel every one of his thirty-eight years. Then her eyes popped open in alarm. “Oh!” She snatched the covers to her chin. “I’m sorry. I took a nap. I haven’t been sleeping well, and…”

  Her voice trailed off nervously, and the comforter dropped to her waist. Sam stared at her startled expression and her flushed cheeks. Eyes so big he sometimes wondered if he could fall right into them, and most of the time filled with the light of battle. Right now, though, they were soft, slightly befuddled, as if she’d momentarily opened the door to her emotions and wasn’t sure what to do. The contrast drew him like a magnet. His body reacted. It knew what to do even if Sam fought it. Erin had been cute at fourteen, but at twenty-six she was all woman, and it looked an awful lot like all that womanliness was covered only by one of his dress shirts. What he wouldn’t give to be his shirt. His eyes dropped to the open neck and the thrust of her breasts against the thin material.

  “You’re so beautiful, Erin,” he murmured. Unable to stop, he trailed his hand gently down her cheek before cupping the back of her neck. He looked at the slumberous expression in her darkly lashed eyes and wanted her, just like he always had. Last fall or more than a decade ago, it didn’t matter. Erin was stuck in his head and his heart.

  He remembered the summer he had come home from Afghanistan. It was right after Evan and Jenny had broken up and gone their separate ways to college. To his shame, he’d been aware of Erin from then on in ways he knew he shouldn’t. She had been a kid, even if she didn’t look like one. To make matters worse, every time he turned around, he’d run into her. At fourteen, Erin had been desperate to escape her parents’ house whenever possible.

  His first sight of her after his return was indelibly burned into his memory. He had discovered her skinny-dipping in the pond in his back pasture, and also discovered that the little girl he remembered had grown up…too much for his comfort. She had ducked under the water to her neck when she spotted him, but then recognizing him, a wicked gleam had sparked in her eyes. Deliberately, she had turned her back to him and walked out of the pond, her bare, heart-shaped bottom swaying tauntingly.

  Having just returned from two years in a Muslim nation where women were swaddled from nose to toes, Sam was shocked. He rode around the pond, his eyes averted. When he reached the other side, she pulled a T-shirt over her bare breasts, but since she was still wet from the pond, the shirt did little to hide a figure no fourteen-year-old had a right to.

  He’d vaulted off the horse and approached her.

  “Erin?” he’d asked in a choked voice, eyes glancing off dusky nipples. He’d last seen her as a gawky twelve-year-old. She wasn’t that kid anymore. Not by a long shot. Christ. He’d looked quickly away.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” He managed to choke out right before he swallowed his tongue.

  “Hi, Sammy.” She’d laughed with a mixture of shyness and tentative provocativeness that sent his starved senses into overdrive, his gaze once more unwillingly drawn to her. Sam was instantly hard, ready as any bull on his farm. No. Not happening. He’d shaken his head and backed away. She was a kid. Didn’t matter if she didn’t look like one.

  Had Stoner not walked up on them at that moment looking for Erin, Sam wasn’t sure what would have happened. As it was, he figured he had narrowly escaped jail. If Stoner hadn’t already been furious with Erin for everything else she had been into that summer, he probably would have pressed charges, even though Sam hadn’t even touched her, but publicity of that sort was the last thing a senator running for re-election needed.

  That had been more than twelve years ago. They were both adults now. She was twenty-six, not fourteen. And him? He ground his teeth. Yeah. Still a lot older.

  While he studied her, Erin returned the favor, reaching out to brush a lock of his dark hair from where it fell onto his forehead, the only place where it was long enough. Her lips parted as she looked at his chest. Sweat broke out on his forehead. He wanted her hands on a lot more than just his hair. Her breathing accelerated as she continued to stare. Sam knew the signs. He wasn’t a complete idiot. She was as turned on as he was.

  But he hesitated. She had worshiped him since the moment he put her on his horse when she was nine years old. She had offered herself to him when she was fourteen, and he had nearly taken what she’d not so innocently shown him. There should be nothing now to stand in their way. She was a woman, not a child.

  Sam caught her wrist just as she was about to touch him, but he took advantage of her parted lips and brushed his mouth across hers. When he felt her response, he set her hand on his chest, shivering at the instant spark of heat racing through him. Unable to stop himself, Sam cupped her face in his broad hands and let his mouth cover hers. He had dreamed of this, even when he’d known it was wrong. He nibbled, tasted, and wanted even more. She was sweet, and her mouth was soft and willing beneath his. It was incredible. Erin all grown up.

  She moaned and pressed her nearly naked body against him, then her hand slipped down to touch his flat stomach. Things heated up too much, too fast. Warning bells clanged in Sam’s head. Sure she was an adult, but this wasn’t right. He knew how vulnerable she was and didn’t want to take advantage.

  “No, Erin,” he said quietly and firmly. “This is wrong.”

  “I’m not a kid anymore, Sam.”

  He hardened his heart and knew he needed her angry with him, not looking at him with those
big, soft eyes. His gaze raked over her. “You think I don’t know that? You think I can’t see…feel?” He pushed her hand off him and spun away, putting ice in his voice. “I appreciate what you’re offering…again. But no. I’m just a little too fastidious to want to follow where so many have already been.”

  Silence stretched tautly behind him, and there was just barely a whisper of sound before the bathroom door slammed shut, but he could still hear her through the door as she swore like a sailor. She ripped the door open in less than a minute, fully dressed, and jammed her feet into her boots.

  “What time do you leave in the morning?” she asked stiffly. “I’ll make sure I don’t get here until you’re gone.”

  “Erin.” He frowned at her averted face. Guilt slapped him up side the head like it was his grandma. He’d meant to make her angry, not hurt her. “Wait. I’ll run you home.”

  “No! I have to go. Now.”

  She raced out of the room, her feet pounding along the hall. The door slammed before he could get his boots and a jacket pulled on. He yanked the door open and looked down the driveway, but it was empty; then he saw her racing across the fields as if the devil himself was on her heels. Perhaps he was. Sam smacked the flat of his hand against the porch pillar. Maybe it was better this way, better to have her hating him than thinking he was some sort of safe haven.

  But Sweet Mary, it eviscerated him.

  Chapter 4

  Stoner saw her trudge across the fields. Something in the way she moved, an aimlessness or listlessness, didn’t seem at all like the Erin he knew. Already feeling her probable rebuff, he knew he still had to make the effort. Stoner pulled his coat on and stepped out the back door. Catherine hadn’t returned yet from town. She usually stayed after church to visit with Jenny and Evan at the very least. Stoner met Erin as she rounded the house, obviously intent on reaching the guesthouse before anyone saw her.

  “Erin? Are you okay?”

  She looked at him with dry eyes glittering in a face that was deathly pale. “No.”

  Her admission startled him. Stoner swallowed, feeling more awkward than he would have imagined, more awkward than he’d ever felt talking with Tabby. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  She jerked with surprise and eyed him suspiciously, but her wide gaze also searched his face for something, he wasn’t sure what. At last she mumbled, “No. I don’t think so.”

  She turned away, leaving him feeling as if his chance to reach her, to help this daughter who’d always been so defensive and prickly, was slipping away as quickly as water flowing down a stream. He was desperate to keep her there, to see if he might pry wider open the small chink she’d shown in her armor. He doubted seriously she’d open it herself.

  “I was going to my wood shop to work for a while. Would you like to join me? There’s a place where you can sit and watch if you want. You don’t have to talk to me, but I wouldn’t mind the company.”

  She shifted from foot to foot and glanced at his shop. “Yeah. I’d like that. I don’t really want my own company right now. I’ll change first.”

  He nodded and trudged to the shop, feeling defeat drag at him. He doubted she would turn up, but five minutes later, the door opened slowly and she stepped in. He glanced up, smiled as though it were the most natural thing in the world to see her there, and returned to his work. Stoner decided it would be best to ignore her, not make too much of her presence. For a man accustomed to demanding and getting answers, the task wracked his nerves.

  She looked around warily, then found a spot in the corner, a bit like a cat, he thought. The next thing he knew, just like the cat he had already compared her to, she was curled up in an empty spot on top of his workbench, her head resting on her knees as she simply watched what he did. No pressure, he reminded himself and went back to work.

  Stoner wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that. He worked while she watched, quietly and completely still. It had made him a little nervous to begin with, but that quickly passed as his work absorbed his interest. After a while, he glanced up and smiled slightly. She had fallen asleep. Stoner finished what he was working on, put on his coat, then eased over to rouse her.

  “Wake up, honey,” he said softly, but she just mumbled in her sleep. He eyeballed her petite frame and simply picked her up as he had so many times when she was just a little girl and had played to the point of exhaustion. She was still tiny. Erin nestled against him, and his heart lurched. There were shadows under her eyes like bruises. He wondered again what had suddenly made her come home when it always seemed to him home was the last place she had ever wanted to be.

  He took her into his study and laid her on the couch there. He tucked a soft, cotton afghan around her, a smile tugging the corner of his mouth as he remembered tucking her in as a little girl. Those moments had been rare, maybe too rare, he now realized. After covering her, he sat at his desk to work on the farm accounts.

  About an hour later Erin finally stirred. She sat abruptly and looked around her in confusion. He thought he caught just a trace of fear on her face, and wondered why she would be frightened. Had Sam done something to her? Stoner’s jaw clenched. There had always been some connection between Barnes and Erin that he hadn’t quite understood. While Erin was a teenager, it had petrified him. Now, he was willing to admit Sam might be just what Erin needed.

  “You fell asleep, honey, and wouldn’t wake up so I brought you in here.”

  She ran a hand through her hair. “I’m sorry. Thanks, Daddy. I-I haven’t slept well.”

  Stoner rose and came around to sit on the other end of the couch where he could study her more thoroughly. “Erin, if you think it would help, we can move you in here to the main house.”

  For a moment, it seemed like she wanted to accept the offer, but then she shook her head. “No. I’m fine where I am. I-I like my privacy, and I don’t want to intrude on you and Mama.”

  That stung. He was hearing from her lips almost exactly what he and Catherine had discussed. Stoner touched her shoulder, encouraged when she didn’t flinch from him. “Erin, what’s wrong? Honey, please talk to me.”

  She stared at him, and as he watched, she began to shake. The need to protect her overwhelmed his fear of rejection. He pulled her onto his lap even though he feared she would rebuff him again. When she didn’t, he cradled her against him as he had when she was just a little girl and frightened of a thunderstorm, sending a silent prayer for some divine guidance. This was like wading through a copperhead nest.

  “Does it have anything to do with the job you had on that ship?”

  “Yes.” She closed her eyes and swallowed convulsively. When she opened them again, she stared steadily into his face. Stoner watched her inner battle, and almost wept when he felt her relax in his arms. He had to tilt his head to hear as she whispered, “I think the ship was being used to ferry drugs on some of our trips. I’m not talking about a bag or two of pot. I knew about that. I mean cargos of drugs. Lately, it seemed like all the time.”

  Jesus! What had she gotten herself into this time? He stroked her hair. “Did you ever see them?”

  “No. But on our last trip, we had only one passenger, Andre Delacroix. His family is very wealthy, very influential there, kind of like an island mafia, I guess. Anyway, I jumped ship because he threatened Rick, he’s the captain, and me. He didn’t know I’d overheard him.” She stopped, her hands balled into fists in her lap. “He threatened to kill me.”

  Stoner’s heart went cold. “So you took off? But Erin, you’re here now. You’re safe.”

  She worried her lower lip. “Daddy, I literally jumped overboard with only my identification papers, my money, credit card, and cell phone. It was all I could fit into the waterproof fanny pack I had. I left my laptop on the Sprite. It has your address—and Evan’s. If someone finds that…”

  Like hell someone was going to hurt her! Stoner’s arms tightened protectively around his daughter. “We’ll keep you safe, h
oney, but I’ll need to let Evan and Sam know what’s going on.”

  She touched her father’s face with her fingertips. “I’m so sorry, Daddy. I didn’t come back to cause trouble, but I wasn’t sure where else to go after I swam ashore. If you want me to leave, I-I’ll understand.”

  His hand hovered just over the back of her head, and he closed his eyes as he brought it down to pull her close. “I don’t want you to go.” The tightness in his chest eased, and he realized that for perhaps the first time in his uneasy relationship with his daughter, he spoke the truth. “We need to get everyone together to talk about this. Sam, too, since you work for him.”

  Erin swallowed and twisted her hands nervously. “Not today. Please, Daddy. I—I don’t want to see Sam again today.”

  Stoner frowned and held her slightly away as he gazed at her, his fatherly instincts flaring again into full alarm. Son of a bitch. Every warm thought he’d had about Sam flew right out the window. “Did he do something?”

  She shook her head and said no, but the blush on her cheekbones told him she was lying. Stoner decided he would call Sam and Evan both that evening, and at least give them the bare bones of what she had told him, but Erin would have to provide everyone more details.

  * * * *

  Sam settled the animals for the evening and came back inside. He still couldn’t forget the expression on Erin’s face as she’d fled his house. He’d hurt her. Deliberately. Partly to stop her, partly to stop him. He could never provide her a life like she’d grown up in. There were other issues too. He was too old for her, too conservative. He was sorry if the truth was painful, but he was a fastidious man. While he was no virgin, he didn’t hop into someone’s bed at the drop of a hat. And after all, it wasn’t like this was even the first time he’d found her in his bed.