Balancing Act Read online

  Tessa’s experience with men was limited at best. She’d been sheltered through her teens, and attending an all-women’s college hadn’t given her the constant male contact many women took for granted. Seth’s stroking tongue startled her into opening her mouth to him. Heat spiraled through her body as he held her close.

  “Tessa,” he murmured before pulling her even closer and plundering her mouth with his tongue. He smelled of shampoo, soap, a citrusy cologne that tickled her nostrils…and Seth. She leaned into him, giving herself over to his teasing, tantalizing kisses.

  She heard a moan and realized it came from her. As he continued his toe-curling kisses, Seth kneaded her bottom, pushing the silky material of her skirt higher until he rested one hand above the lace of her stocking on the bare flesh of her thigh, then cupped one round cheek of her ass. With his other hand, he drifted up over her waist until he stroked her nipple through her dress with his thumb. Heat burned her, not just where he touched but everywhere. Arousal made her ache.

  Tessa sighed as he lifted her, holding her tightly, and lowered his head to the swelling globe of her breast. “Seth, I…”

  “Shh,” he soothed as he traced the neckline of her dress with the tip of his tongue. “Ah, Tessa,” he mumbled and pushed her breast upward until it spilled onto his waiting lips. “Mmm.”

  She was alive with feeling and sensations she’d never experienced as he squeezed her butt with his big hands, all the while suckling her breast. Along her thigh, the bulge of his arousal pressed. With a guttural growl, he swung her into his arms and carried her along the terrace to the open French doors to his room. Tessa was dimly aware of him setting her on the bed before following her there. He braced his hands on either side of her as he once again lowered his mouth to hers.

  “I’ve dreamed of this,” he murmured. “Dreamed of holding you, of touching you.”

  Tessa was drowning in a fog of sensation. His voice was a smoky whisper near her ear, his fingers were the stroke of a satin ribbon on her bare arms before he eased back just enough to undress. He stripped off his jacket, his tie, his shirt. With a deft touch, he slid her dress from her, so she lay on the bed clad only in pearls, a silky black wisp of underwear and stockings. He kissed her again, then stood and let his slacks fall to the floor. As he lay down next to her, there was nothing but the silk of his boxers to disguise his erection.

  * * * *

  “Touch me, Tessa,” he whispered, his lips next to hers, but somewhere in the back of his head, warning bells clanged. He wanted to ignore them. He really did, because his body was demanding release, but enough of his conscience prevailed to keep him thinking beyond what his cock wanted. Her touch was too tentative, from her kisses to her caresses. Even as his gaze and lips devoured her, some sane, logical part of himself warned him to stop. Her fingers trembled a hair’s breadth from his straining erection. She was no sophisticated, well-heeled woman looking for quick sex.

  “Tessa,” he whispered against her ear, his conscience pricking him. “Are you sure this is what you want?” Please say yes.

  “I…” She stirred and trembled.

  The hesitation told him everything. A sudden vision of Anna on the video that had been sent to his office popped into his brain. She and Chris Stevenson had been drugged when they’d ended up in bed together as virtual strangers. What was Seth’s excuse? Tessa was obviously inexperienced. He stalked into the bathroom, grabbing the robes hanging from the hooks on the door. After shrugging into one, he brought the other to Tessa.

  In his absence, she’d sat up on the bed and now had her arms crossed over her breasts. As he approached, she faced him.

  “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, her posture one of pure misery. Her blue eyes looked haunted, not at all what he’d hoped to achieve, but it was too late now.

  Seth handed her the bathrobe and turned away as she put it on. When he turned again, she sat, staring straight ahead, her fiery hair tangled around her head. Seth gazed at her, his muscles knotting.

  “Have you ever been with a man before, Tessa?”

  “No,” she admitted as if it had been dragged from her.

  “Why me?”

  She shrugged. What had he hoped for? A sudden declaration of her undying love? Seth turned away and walked to the French doors to stare at the city below. He knew his motives. He’d been lusting after Tessa Edwards since right after she started working for him. Anything beyond lust, though, he refused to even examine. But her? Why would she? His thoughts were interrupted by a small hiccupping breath. Seth knew that sound. He spun around. Tessa still sat on the edge of the bed where he’d left her.

  He strode back and knelt down.

  “Don’t cry, Tessa. Please.” Seth reached out to squeeze her shoulder.

  “Did I do something wrong?” she asked. “I can’t afford to lose this job, Seth.”

  He jerked his hand back, horrified. She’d done this because she thought he expected it? He took her slender hand in his and stroked his thumb across the back of it. She gazed at him without flinching. There was no shame in her face–instead he saw hurt, confusion, and a wariness that hadn’t been there before. He’d done that. And she thought she had to do this to keep her job with him. Seth closed his eyes for a moment. That hurt. It hurt a lot more than he wanted to admit.

  “You did nothing wrong,” he reassured her, trying to keep his voice even, unemotional. “Nothing. What happened was my fault. And I would never, never tie what happens between us outside of work hours to your job in any way.” He paused again and raked a hand through his hair. “Your first time with a man should be something meaningful, Tessa, with someone you love. Not a quick hop in the sack.”

  If anything, her expression closed more.

  “And that’s what this was? Boss and assistant engaged in a little celebratory sex. Like the Vikings after a successful conquest?” Her tone was once again the cool, composed voice he’d grown accustomed to at work.

  Seth sighed. He was making a mess of this. “Tessa,” he began again, but she pulled away from him to bend down and pick up her dress. “I’ve already told you this had nothing to do with the job.”

  “I should go to my room. Did you want me to have breakfast sent up tomorrow morning, Mr. Barrett?”

  “Yes. Tessa…” He ground his teeth in frustration and reached to stop her, but she slipped–no flinched–from his grasp.

  “Good night, sir.”

  She hurried from the room, and Seth watched her retreating form with frustration and anger. What an idiot I am! He’d made a complete mess of things. He reviewed what he’d said and cringed at the way it had sounded. He’d implied he had no feelings for her and viewed what had happened as meaningless sex. Seth smacked the heel of his hand against his forehead. For someone who had made his living as a professional communicator, he had thoroughly screwed up.

  * * * *

  Tessa hung her dress in the closet and went to the bathroom to remove her makeup and wash her face. Her actions were automatic. All in all it had been one of the worst days of her life. A small sob broke through her control, but she stamped it out as if it were no more than a bug. She would not think about it right now. That would bring more pain, and she couldn’t handle anything else. Not tonight.

  The last things she did before turning off the light and going to sleep were to call room service to place a breakfast order and the front desk to leave a wake up call. Whatever else, she would never be accused of neglecting her job as Seth’s assistant. To keep Zach, she had to keep the job. All she needed to do now was find some way to balance that with her feelings for Seth.

  Chapter 6

  Seth stared at Tessa for most of the flight home. Maybe it was better if they kept things on a business footing, but not this, not like it had been in the beginning. They were back to Mr. Barrett. She had done everything he had asked her to, but there was no extraneous conversation. She was her usual efficient Tessa, except the mask of cool composure had hardened into one of withdrawn iciness.


  Even now, she sat in her seat near the jet’s window with the laptop open in front of her while she finalized her notes from the Midwest acquisition. She barely looked up when the pilot came on the intercom to let them know they were beginning their descent. She finished what she was working on and packed everything away in preparation for landing.

  Seth offered her a hand to help her down the steps and onto the tarmac, but Tessa ignored it, just as she ignored the hand he offered to help her into the Escalade. When Seth pulled into the curb in front of her apartment, he put the SUV in park and looked at her.

  “Tessa, we need to talk.”

  Her expression impassive, she responded, “About what, Mr. Barrett?”

  Seth slammed his fist against the dashboard. “Damn it! I’m sorry. Is that what you want to hear? I’m not used to groveling, but if that’s what it takes, then I will.”

  At last he got a reaction. The detachment disappeared. Her eyes shot sparks of blue fire. “Tell me one thing, Mr. Barrett. Last night, did any of it mean anything to you? Anything at all? Or was it just a merger you decided not to complete?”

  Seth looked into those ice blue eyes. A touch of wariness and hurt like he’d seen last night peeked through the tight control she had on herself.

  “It meant enough to me that I stopped,” he admitted and continued to meet her gaze. She blinked rapidly, and for a second her lower lip trembled. “Tessa…”

  “Don’t!” Before he could stop her, she threw open the door, grabbed her oversize purse and ran into the house.

  Seth uncoiled from the driver’s seat, snatched the laptop and her hanging bag from the back and carried them up to the door. Zach met him there with a mutinous look on his freckled face.

  “You made my sister cry,” he accused. “Tessa never cries! What did you do to her?”

  Seth’s chest ached as he studied the boy. His little hands were knotted into fists and his small chest rose and fell with indignation.

  “It’s a grown up thing, Zach, but if it means anything, I didn’t intend to hurt her.” He held the bags out to the boy. “Can you manage to carry these for me? I think Tessa has seen enough of me for today.”

  Zach glared at him again and then snatched the bags from Seth before slamming the door in his face. Seth stared at the closed door and sighed. Yes, all in all, he had screwed things up. He walked back to the SUV and stared at the house for a moment longer before climbing in and driving off. He’d wanted to take her and Zach to the beach this weekend to say thanks, but right now that seemed like the lousiest idea in the world–and the one thing he kept thinking about.

  * * * *

  Tessa tried to be upbeat over the weekend for Zach. She knew seeing her cry had upset him. She had hoped to get in the apartment before he left the neighbor’s and saw her. It would have given her at least a few minutes to calm down, but Zach had been watching for her and had run out into the hallway to greet her. She’d wiped her eyes, but it was too late, he had seen and his excited grin had faded. She spent most of the evening in her room, apologizing to Zach, but telling him she was tired and did not feel well. The look on his face was enough to let her know he didn’t believe her.

  She played video games with him over the weekend and they watched movies together. She even took him to the theater to see an animated movie he’d been wheedling to go to. By Sunday evening, she thought her head would burst if she had to listen to one more note of arcade game music.

  It was almost a relief to enter the relative quiet of Barrett Newspapers Monday morning. She still didn’t care for all the chrome and glass, but this morning the thick carpeting of the upper floors was comforting in a way, as though there might be a softer side to something at Barrett. Tessa would go on as if the trip to Chicago had never happened. She needed this job, and she was not going to let embarrassment over what had happened–or almost happened–get in the way. What on earth had she been thinking? The man was her boss and he was at least ten years older than her. She’d never wanted to sleep with anyone before. So why him? And bringing the incident up again, even if it was to apologize and assure him she would never bother him again, was not a good idea.

  She sprinted up the stairs, pausing at the top to slip on her pumps before opening the door. The first thing she noticed was the huge bouquet of summer flowers sitting on her desk. It was not a formal florist’s arrangement; instead it looked like someone had cut as many flowers as they could stuff into a lead crystal vase. Her lips twitched. There was a card leaning against the vase. Inside was a picture of Seth holding the flowers in front of an almost denuded flowerbed, and scrawled on top of it, “Please forgive me?”

  This time she smiled, but she sure wouldn’t let him know it. She made his coffee as she always did and took it into his office.

  “Hmmph,” he grunted from behind the pages of one of the innumerable newspapers he read each morning. The day continued as it always did, with Seth working nonstop and barking orders at her. It made her wonder if the flowers and the picture with the hastily scrawled note were figments of her imagination, but no, every time she stopped by her desk, there they were. She took the flowers home with her at the end of the day. They were too much of a distraction sitting beside her while she tried to work.

  The next morning when she arrived, a large coffee from Starbucks and a cinnamon scone awaited her…along with another card. Tessa flipped it open to find a single question scrawled on a thick note card, “Would it help if I were sweeter?”

  Tessa glanced at Seth’s office door and smothered a giggle. Seth? Sweet? But she smiled at the thought, and somehow many of the objections she kept raising to Seth Barlow-Barrett as a man began to disappear.

  He grunted when she took in his coffee and then drove her like a workhorse until late morning when he stopped and looked up. And then she wondered why she had ever thought him at all appealing.

  “I’m supposed to meet my mother for lunch at the club,” he stated. “It’s this Habitat thing again. Would you come with me?”

  Tessa tilted her head. “Do I have a choice?”

  “Would you still come if I said yes?” he countered.

  “Yes. I happen to have a lot of experience with Habitat.”

  “Then you have a choice.”

  “I’d be happy to go with you.”

  By the end of lunch, Seth was scowling, his mother was beaming and Tessa was smiling wickedly at her boss. She could almost feel the steam rolling from him as he helped her into his SUV. He’d raked his hands through his wavy, golden hair so many times it stood on end.

  “Did you have to volunteer me to work with a bunch of Women’s Club do-gooders who have some insane idea about building a house?” he bit out as he slid behind the wheel and slammed his door. He glared at her with eyes that shot angry sparks at her.

  Tessa smiled at him with as much innocence as she could muster. “I’m sure you can handle it, Mr. Barrett. You do know how to hammer a nail, or does the butler see to that?”

  Seth dropped an F-bomb before putting the car in gear and driving in stony silence back to Barrett. Tessa kept her expression blank, but congratulated herself on setting him up. It would do him good to learn a little patience on a volunteer work crew.

  The next morning when she arrived, there was a construction apron and a hammer on her desk with a note that said, “Mother was so happy when I told her you loved working on Habitat houses and would be joining us this weekend.”

  This time when she set his coffee down, he lowered his paper and stared at her.

  “You know what they say about payback,” he said in a silky voice.

  Tessa arched one brow at him. “Bring it on, big boy. I can hammer a nail. Can you?”

  Thursday morning she arrived to find a short piece of rope tied in an intricate knot. With it was a card. Tessa found herself looking forward to Seth’s morning messages. The card read, “It’s called a fisherman’s loop. If we work all day Saturday, may I take you and Zach fishing on the bay S
unday?”

  Tessa’s hand trembled as she read the note. Two thoughts raced through her mind at the same time. He’d remembered what she had told him about Zach’s love of fishing. More to the point, he wanted to see her again, not just mend a working relationship.

  Friday, a single red rose in full bloom in a delicate bud vase awaited her with no note. Tessa touched the velvety petals with trembling fingers and leaned over to inhale its rich fragrance. She glanced at the closed door to his office. She would not read anything into it. Seth fascinated her more and more, however wrong she knew that might be.

  She arranged for Zach to stay at her neighbor’s Saturday since the house under construction was just getting started, so there wasn’t much he could do. She told him Seth was taking them fishing Sunday.

  “He’s not going to make you cry again, is he?” Zach demanded in a tone that said he would take care of Seth, if need be.

  Tessa smiled at her little brother. “No, he’s not going to make me cry again.”

  He couldn’t hide his obvious relief. Tessa grinned at him, wondering if he was relieved she wasn’t going to cry or relieved because now he wouldn’t be disloyal if he showed how excited he was about the fishing trip.

  Tessa was one of the first volunteers to show up at the work site Saturday morning. She checked in with the site foreman, described her previous experience, and discovered why he seemed so happy to see her.

  “We’re looking at putting up exterior walls today and one of our crew leaders has called in sick. Can you take over that spot?”

  “Sure.” She was comfortable with any phase of the construction, and today’s work would not be that complicated, at least if the crew could swing a hammer.

  Seth arrived a few minutes later. Tessa almost groaned when she saw he was on her crew list, but the practical side of her knew his physical size and strength would come in handy when they were setting the walls.